


All Demons Go to Heaven

by Iwouldwrite1000fics



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Children, Heaven & Hell, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Other, Trans Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwouldwrite1000fics/pseuds/Iwouldwrite1000fics
Summary: Crowley had been sauntering vaguely downward for years until it all ended one night off the end of a pier.  Or at least it was supposed to.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If the title didn't give it away this is based on the Don Bluth film All Dogs go to Heaven and it's sequel, but mostly the first film.

If you show up tomorrow if you try again everything will work out.

What a load of pestilent mangled bullocks Crowley thought as he yanked his apron off and stuffed it into his locker. He calmed down long enough to remember to take his tips out of the pocket, not there was a lot anyway, but it would be enough for bus fare tomorrow. His parole officer would frown as usual, because he smelled of liquor, but whatever it was his job nothing more even if no one believed him. 

Heading out to the front of the bar Crowley took his straight glass of orange juice and claimed a small booth in the back corner. It wasn’t his scene anymore, but he couldn’t leave so he was going to enjoy his misery with as much comfort as he could get. He sighed and let his head drop back against the top of the booth.

This was all his fault anyway.

He’d fallen in with the wrong crowd and when the wrong crowd starts playing the blame game well that’s how he ended up in a ten by ten cell doing ten to twenty for a crime that wasn’t his. He’d managed to make it out in eight for good behaviour, but it hadn’t mattered. He was still trapped in the same bar with lousy tips and no chance for advancement. The certificate in auto-mechanics he’d gotten while in prison useless, because no one wanted a convict for an employee. How he wished he could turn back time he’d be able to ruin his life in so many new and interesting ways. 

“Hey, Crawly.”

Speak of the devil.

“Hastur,”he answered, not bothering to correct him on his name.

“Never thought I’d see you around here again.”

“Got time off for good behaviour.”

“Then we should celebrate I’ll get you a drink on the house.”

“No, thanks m’good.”

“Oh, come on you’ll insult Ligur.”

“Yeah, Crawly, lighten up,” Ligur said, as he slid into to the booth on Crowley’s other side pinning him in.

Crowley tensed up, but did his best to deal with the pair diplomatically. The last thing he needed was to start a fight and get fired on top of everything else. He let them order their drinks and sipped his slowly to make it look like there was alcohol in it. They continued being too close and asking far too many questions though and at one point Crowley dipped his nail into his drink and swirled gently and it turned black. 

That was the final straw.

“Well guys this has certainly been…fun, but I’ve got to go.”

Not caring how awkward it looked he managed to stand up from his seat and walked over the table to freedom.

“Ciao.”

He took his drink to the bar, but by the time he could let them know it was spiked Hastur and Ligur were gone.

Crowley just sighed, made sure his pockets still had his tips and wallet, and headed home. Unfortunately Hastur and Ligur were waiting for him to show how much they appreciated him trying to leave their little get together early with a crow bar to the back of the head. 

***

“Come on, Ligur, hurry up I can see him moving down there!”

“You want this to go faster come help!”

Hastur reluctantly did and they got the car in place and the top of the embankment.

“You’re sure about this?” Ligur asked.

“I’m not letting that slimy snake go free by ratting me out. I’ve worked too hard to lose it all now.” 

“And it’s fun.” Ligur smirked. “Shame about the car though.”

They laughed as it began rolling down the hill towards the dock where Crowley lay, gaining speed as it went. The blindfold made sure he never saw it coming and didn’t even have a chance to scream before he hit the water.

***

The Earth moved slowly from Her office and She loved that. Watching her creations flourish and knowing that it was good.

“Excuse me.”

She turned her chair away from the window.

“Gabriel, you know how I work.”

“Yes, Ma’am, but we have a new arrival and I really think they would do better with a…a more hands on approach.”

Her curiosity now piqued She went to see Michael and Uriel carrying said new arrival as he flailed about.

“There’s been a mistake made here! I demand to speak to whoever’s in charge!”

“I’ll handle him.”

The angels nodded and dropped him to the floor.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

They stepped back and Crowley suddenly found himself very alone with Her.

“You must be the one in charge.”

“So they tell me.”

“Wonderful I’m sure you can clear this all up. You see those guys are trying to tell me I’m dead.”

“Stone cold I’m afraid.”

She cleared a portion of the floor and let him see the world beneath their feet. 

Crowley’s eyes widened in dawning horror.

“Hastur that bastard! He killed me! I went to prison for his crime and I…”

He gripped a chain around his neck.

“I had plans.”

“So many do.”

She waved her hand as a thick book appeared…and was empty. She frowned, strange he had no paperwork. She’d have to check on that. 

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!”

She turned around to see Crowley glowering at a bundle of white robes and halo he had been handed. While the angel who had handed him the outfit looked stricken by his words.

“I would avoid mentioning the basement it puts them on edge.”

“Right all harps and harmonies around here I’m sure, what do you do for fun watch The Sound of Music?”

“It’s my favourite film actually.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Oh, isn’t that wonderful, I love it here already.”

He chucked the halo like a Frisbee and sulked as it came right back to him and stayed perched just above his head.

“You’re sure this isn’t just some kind of weird near death experience?”

“Oh no, we’re quite certain.”

She turned down a hallway to a door on the left.

“Follow me.”

Crowley did, thorough the door than another door and up an escalator into a hallway that was filled with clocks of all types and sizes.

“What’s up with the watch department?”

“They represent life. Everyone has one.”

Reaching up she shifted some of them and pulled her hand back with one suspended in her palm.

“This one is yours.”

It was a thick black wrist watch with all kinds of numbers displayed on its face and easily nicer than anything he’d every owned.

“And it’s stopped.”

She was right it wasn’t ticking.

“Well can’t you just wind it back up?” Crowley asked.

“And send you back? Oh no, no one’s ever allowed to go back.”

Crowley’s mind completely skipped over that last bit as the gears in his own head started turning. He could go back. He could fix this.

She flipped her wrist and the watch began floating back up, but Crowley kept his eyes on it and when he was certain she wasn’t looking he used the white robe to pull it down and wrapped it up tightly.

Turning his back to Her he opened the cloth and began turning the dials trying to figure out how it worked.

“I really wouldn’t do that.”

Crowley wasn’t listening. He was never going to listen to anyone ever again. All that got him was the prime of his life wasted behind bars and then the rest of it cut short because he was told to walk the straight and narrow. To hell with that. To hell with all of it and to hell with Hastur too for that matter, Crowley knew it was real now after all and he was going to send him there personally when he got back. 

He whopped with joy as the numbers began moving backwards.

Then suddenly stopped as the air was sucked out of him and he was yanked backwards hard; white halls, starlight, clouds, all started rushing past him. His mind began to panic when he couldn’t draw breath as he fell, the sky above him growing dark. His body screaming in pain as he hit water and a whisper ringing in his ears as it swallowed him up.

“You can never come back.”


	2. Chapter 2

Crowley gasped as he broke the surface of the water. His lungs struggled to pull in air and by someone everything hurt! 

Thankfully the water wasn’t too deep and he managed to get standing as he struggled towards the half sunk car and used it for balance. He needed it too when his heart suddenly clenched and he bit his tongue to keep from screaming in pain. Blearily he realized his hands were empty and-watch, where was the bloody watch?! Thrashing around like a wounded fish he eventually found it and pulled it tightly around his wrist. Wheezing he stared at the numbers glowing in the moonlight and his heart slowly stopped racing. In fact it seemed to be beating in exact time with the mechanical device.

All right then as long it was still ticking he would keep ticking simple enough.

One problem down now he needed to get away before Hastur and his goons found him. Make a plan have the upper hand and all that good logical stuff. The only problem with solving that problem Crowley realized as he sloshed his way to land was that he really had no clue where he was.

So devoid of other options he picked a direction that looked promising and started walking as fast as he could. Hoping he would eventually see something familiar. 

Because it was just that kind of night for Crowley nothing became familiar except the chattering of his teeth as his wet clothes clung to his skin. His soaked hair plastered itself to his face and neck and left him shivering hard. His pace slowed as the hours went by his body struggling against the cold, his mind working to process everything he had been through, and did he mention the headache? Yeah there was that too. 

So, just as dawn was starting to break he found a small set of steps that looked safe enough on a corner building and collapsed.

***

Warmth, he was warm. That was the first thing Crowley noticed as he came back to reality and then…ow his aching…everything. Still warm though. Carefully he opened his eyes to see a place that was very…brown. 

“Oh, wonderful, you’re awake. I was starting to worry I’d need to call the ambulance for you.”

Crowley turned his head to see a blob of white and tartan? He blinked several more times until his vision cleared enough to see a man with short cut blond hair, rather frumpy looking clothes, and bright blue eyes that were looking at him with concern.

“Wh-what happened?” Crowley asked as he raised his head, the cold compress the man had been kind enough to put on the goose egg Hastur had given him sliding off to the side.

“I was rather hoping you could explain. I’d figured out you’d been mugged judging by that lump on your head and the turned out pockets, but I don’t have the faintest idea why your clothes were soaking wet.”

Still confused Crowley looked down to find himself on a couch covered with a heavy blanket…and utterly naked beneath it, save his boxer shorts. He yelped and yanked the blanket up around his chin.

The other man chuckled. “No, need to be modest I’ve got them drying.”

He pointed to where Crowley’s clothes were laid out by a small fireplace. Crowley took the opportunity to look around properly at what appeared to be a bookshop, vintage bookshop at that. Shelves were filled to bursting with tomes of every size. Along with much of the floor, an old rotary phone sat on a desk and there was an ancient looking cash register shoved off to the side that gave Crowley the impression the man didn’t make a lot of sales. There was also a lot of sunlight coming in through the windows and Crowley winced.

“Uh, not to sound ungrateful, but could I have my jacket back?”

Wordlessly the man returned his jacket and Crowley patted his pockets to find that Hastur didn’t even have the decency to leave him his tips. Figured. He probably didn’t know about the inside pocket though and Crowley was right as he fished his sunglasses, that by some miracle were still in one piece, out of it and slipped them on.

“Sorry, bit light sensitive me.”

His rescuer nodded and went over to the window and closed the blinds

“You-you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s quite all right it gives me an excuse to keep the shop closed a little longer.”

Meanwhile Crowley sat up properly on the couch as something was digging into his back. He reached down for it and pulled out…a toy car?

“My apologies for that I have a child.”

The man took the toy and put it on a precariously stacked tower of books then sat down with him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by a postman’s truck.” Technically that was true Crowley supposed and he glanced down at his wrist to make sure the watch was still there. “Don’t think anything’s broken though.”

“Good, umm is there someone I could call for you?”

Crowley snorted, no going to prison tended to burn a lot of bridges. The approved premises he was staying at did have a phone system, but he hadn’t even managed to set that up yet, because he had foolishly hoped he wouldn’t be there long enough to need it.

“No, no don’t have anyone close here and also I’m new to…where exactly is here?”

“Soho.”

“That’s in London right?”

“Oh, heavens you are new aren’t you? And I can’t imagine we’ve made a good impression of the neighbourhood.”

Well you have Crowley thought as he admired the little wiggle the man did as he sat there talk about…something. 

“You’ll be needing to replace several items of course.”

“Yeah, things right…sorry my head is currently trying to split itself in two. Don’t suppose you have any aspirin?”

“I do, but I wouldn’t recommend taking it on an empty stomach. If you’d like you can stay for brunch and we’ll see if we can’t get you a bit more settled.”

“You’re offering someone you literally just picked up off the sidewalk breakfast?”

“Of course, I can’t just let you leave here with nothing and nowhere to go,” he answered, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Crowley smiled. “Real angel, aren’t you?” he asked, not used to such treatment, but he’d enjoy it none the less.

His companion fidgeted and glanced down. “Something like that I suppose.”

“Well does my guardian angel have a name?”

“Oh my, yes where are my manners. I’m Ezra, Ezra Fell. I hope it won’t be too presumptuous to ask you your name, and I truly hope it isn’t George Bailey.”

Crowley shook his head “No it’s-”

And then he stopped as he realized he didn’t have to give the name the authorities had demanded he keep even though it was as dead to him as his old pronouns. Ezra didn’t know him he had no identification to double check. For the first time in his life Crowley realized he could really be himself.

A gentle squeeze on his shoulder brought him out of his own head.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry lost my thoughts for a moment. It’s Crowley, Antony J. Crowley.”

After a few more assurances that he was fine and could walk unaided. Ezra took him upstairs to the small flat had above his bookshop and set about making waffles.

As he did he gave Crowley a pen and paper to list everything that had been in his wallet. As Crowley began working out what he’d lost thanks to Hastur he started to realize there was actually something to gain here. Hastur and his goons thought he was dead. So no one from his past would be looking for him anymore. His was easily replaceable at his job they would never miss him. His parole officer would look for him of course, but how much effort would they put into trying to pick up a former petty thief anyway? Hell his transition was one of the main reasons he’d gotten out when he did. Kicking him out so his paperwork could be someone else’s problem to worry about. Now he could change his name officially and that would be that. The more Crowley thought about it the more it seemed that Hastur taking him out with that car might have been the best thing to ever happen to him. 

It was a chance to really start over.


End file.
